Red Burtts Storys

When God Answered The Knock On His Door, There Stood Kelley.

I posted a short remembrance on my “Red Burtts Place Blog” for an old friend that passed away suddenly last summer (2005).

As the weeks have gone by this little fantasy story about my old friend and his trip to heaven has gone deeper and deeper into the Archives of my Blog and soon may be forgotten altogether

I have decided to move him over here to “My Story’s” he deserves to be remembered and thought of once in awhile even to people around the world who never knew him, but, they may know someone like him.

If there was something wrong with your car, he could fix it, if there was something wrong with “anything” he could fix it, if you wanted to know “something” you asked him, he knew everything, when a dog barked or a bird whistled when he wanted to sleep and he opened his window and told them to shut up, they “shut up” if they knew what was good for them.

I miss him.

The Little Story:
I like to think that this is what might have happened “up there” in the next world on the night that John F (Jack) Kelley, Knocked On Gods Door.

If you haven’t already read it, read it, if you have already read it, read it again.
~~~~~~~~
Sunday, August 28, 2005

+ A KNOCK ON GODS DOOR +
A SMALL MEMORIUM FOR AN OLD FRIEND:

God was very tired, he sat down on the edge of his bed and removed his golden sandals, he sighed, then he said to himself, “I need some help”, “this is getting to much for me”, he then thought, “Jesus is never around, God only knows what he’s doing” then God said to himself, “no I don’t”.God clapped his hands and the lights went out, “oh well, I’ll have to find some help somewhere”, then, God closed his eyes.
God usually doesn’t get much sleep in fact tonight was the first time God had gone to bed in Forty Two Million Years but he was very tired and his feet hurt.

Just as God was drifting off into a "Holy Slumber" the “Heavenly Door Bell Chimes” sounded, God said “oh Jesus”, he slipped into his “Holy Sandals” and shuffled downstairs to the “Holy Door”, he then loudly asked, “who is it”, a voice came back, “I’m a new guy, I just got here” God then said, “OK”.
God raised his right leg and the massive golden door slowly opened."Then it happened".
Suddenly unseen trumpets sounded, white doves were released, a choir was singing “Nearer My God To Thee” even God himself was amazed, God was getting “goose bumps”, the Choir was getting louder, Angels were gathering, there were thousands of them they were flying all around “Gods House”, heavenly strobe lights were flashing, a puff of smoke and Jesus suddenly appeared, he said to God, “What’s going on Dad” God replied, “I don’t know son” he then said, “I can’t ever remember this happening before, this is a miracle”. Jesus had to think that one over, “a miracle”?

Heaven was in an uproar, a crowd gathered on Gods front lawn, famous faces, Dean Martin, Mother Teresa, Napoleon, Elvis, Pope John Paul, Bat Masterson, Harry Truman, Clark Gable, Man O’ War (the race horse) JFK, Rodney Dangerfield, Babe Ruth, Hank Williams, Jack Benny, George Washington, Martin Luther King, Lassie, Milton Berle, Charles Lindberg, Davy Crocket, Johnny Carson and Rose Kennedy to name a few.

God thought, “Oh my God” “who can this new guy be”, why even Noah with his Green Alligators and Long Necked Geese are here. Jesus threw his robe over his shoulder and said, “Wow Dad, Cool”God was taken aback he said to himself, “I am God”, In the beginning I created everything”, “I created the heaven and the earth”, “I created everything that creeps, I created everything that crawls” “I saw light” and I said “this is good” “I then called it, Day” “I saw darkness” and I said, “this is good” “I then called it Night” but never before have I created such a welcome for a “new arrival”, “who can this be” God was very puzzled?

Suddenly, as if out of nowhere a heavenly spotlight appeared, directly over the “new guy”, God looked, and he said "this is good" he saw a gentleman, God said “how do you do, welcome to Gods House” the new guy said, “Hi God”, God smiled, the Angels sang, the trumpets blared, the White Doves swooped low. God then said, “Come in new guy”, the "new guy" stepped over the threshold of Gods House and entered the Kingdom Of Heaven, there he shall dwell for all of eternity.

The new guy hitched his pants up and looked God right in the eye and said, “God, I know everything, I’m going to show you how this place should really be run” “the first thing you need is a Union, Jimmy Hoffa is up here somewhere, I want you to get him over here first thing in the morning” he then went on, “also you have to get rid of all these damn Doves, I don’t want to listen to them flapping their wings and cooing when I’m trying to sleep” and another thing, “I want all the Republicans rounded up and sent down to Hell”"Gee" God thought to himself "I can't send all the Republicans down to hell, I'm a Republican and so is Jesus".

God was flabbergasted, his left eye was twitching, this new guy was actually telling GOD how Heaven Should Be Run. God had to sit down; he then raised his arms and said to the new guy, “So Ye Wish, So Ye Shall Have”. God put his Holy arm around the "New Guys" shoulders and said "come now, it is time to rest, you have had a long journey". The trumpets faded, the doves were gone, the Angels smiled. Heaven was silent.

Early the next morning God and the New Guy were having coffee in the Holy Garden, the new guy noticed a 1932 Ford Roadster parked under a Fig Tree, he said to God, “does that run” God replied “no, I haven’t been able to start it since 1948” the new guy walked over to the car, closed his eyes, then laid his hand gently onto the hood, the car started.
“Jesus Christ” God said, how did you do that, the new guy didn’t answer, he came back, sat down and sipped his coffee.God had been praying for someone to help him run heaven, God then smiled to himself, his prayers had been answered.

God suddenly realized that the new guy had not been officially announced into the Kingdom Of Heaven, God didn’t even know the new guys name. God rose from his seat and asked, “New guy, what are you called on earth, what is your name” the new guy also stood and he faced God and said “I AM JOHN F (JACK) KELLEY” "I am a Teamster" he then added, “You can call me Kell if you want to God”, God replied, “So be it, Kell”, God thought to himself, “This guy is smarter than Jesus, no wonder they sounded the trumpets when he arrived”.

Every car in heaven now runs like a top, by God. My old friend Kelley has gone home.If you ever knew him, you will never forget him.There will never be another Kelley.
Red Burtt.

A neighborhood has died, it has disappeared into the past and lives only in the memory of a few, I am one of them; soon we will all be gone.
I speak of this “old neighborhood” many times to my family, maybe to many times, maybe they get sick of hearing it but they smile and nod as younger people do with older people. I will now again print out the name of this neighborhood so as it will be written for all to see for years to come “Greasy Village” located in the Cambridgeport Section of Cambridge Massachusetts, it is not called Greasy Village anymore, but we were there.

The city of Cambridge Massachusetts is rapidly changing, old buildings are being torn down, and the Condos are being built so fast it is hard to keep track of them. The people are changing, the old working class people that walked these streets are all but gone, the “new people” have moved in, but that is life, “nothing is forever”.

[Maybe the ghosts of Village people past still float around in the old backyards, who knows] “I hope so”.

I would imagine that very few of these “new people”, if any would get up at 5:00 AM, make a dozen bologna sandwiches, wrap them in wax paper, pack them into large “shopping bags” fill gallon thermos jugs with orange & grape “kool aid” then take the Granite Street Bus to Central Sq, then down into the Subway and on into Park Street then a Trolley Car to East Boston’s Maverick Station, then the short Trolley ride to “REVERE BEACH” to spend the day at the ocean and away from the hot city streets, this is just one of the great memories that I have of those long gone days living in “Greasy Village”.

I have read that the powers to be in City Hall have turned "Fort Washington" located on Waverly St into a "Dog Park", people now bring their dogs to "The Fort" to freely "Have Bowel Movements" and "Urinate On The Cannons". The dog people should have seen what we used to do in there.

Many of the old two and three decker homes remain but they aren’t the same, they no longer have an “oil burner” in the kitchen that “gurgles” they no longer have an old “orange crate” attached outside of their window to keep food cold and frozen in the winter, they no longer have an old “ice box” in the back hall with a dish pan under it to catch the melted water and now when you wake up in the morning it is actually “warm” in your bedroom and there is no “frost” on the windows for you to scratch your initials into with your fingernail. Those silly things that some people remember are now gone, the old ways are gone, and, the people are gone.

The New Day:
Computers and the Internet have changed the world overnight; you can sit at your computer at 6:00 AM, type out some idiotic looney little story, then “Blog It” fifteen minutes later some other idiot blogger in Germany is reading it. I have decided to use this new technology to keep the memory of all those great people that walked the streets of “Greasy Village” so long ago alive and maybe unforgotten, I know someone, somewhere, sometime will read them.
There are many that will read this somewhere in the world and not be interested in this place or these people because they knew not of them. So be it.

The Names:
Several years ago I started to write down the names of the people from the Village that were very rapidly passing away, it seemed as though each week as I picked up the paper another one was gone, over the years the list grew and grew and now I realize there aren’t many names left to be added to this list so I am going to try and keep their names around, for who knows, maybe 500 years, a 1000?

The List Is Below, they have left their footprints in the sands of time, at least with me they have:
So now old friends I am going to click a key on my computer and send your names out into cyberspace where you will never be forgotten. Maybe someone in Italy, the North Pole or on a mountain in Austria will someday see your name and say, “hey, I think that’s my Great, Great Grandfather, he used to live there”

The List, it is a long list but I know you will know someone on it, or heard of them.
Here they are, as many as I can remember, when my time comes how the hell will I add my name?
(someone will do it for me, I know)
~~~~~~~~~~
Lost In WWII
James Kelly- Navy
Antonio (Tony) Simone- Army
Duncan McNeil- Navy
Hattsie Ferguson- Navy
Gerald (Jeff) Kelly- Marines
Babe Alt- Army
Jimmy McHugh- Navy
Menus Louiso- Navy
Eddie (Dum Dum) Divine- Army (Shell shocked Died 1967)
Wilbur Brinkerhoff- Navy

Killed In Korea:
Frankie Mazzarella

Village Police Officers
Eddie McMann -Village Beat Cop -Cambridge PD
Eddie Kelly -Cambridge PD
Robert (Lindy) Lindstrom -Cambridge PD
Paul (Chum) Leonard -Cambridge PD
Henry Jason -Cambridge PD
Tom Watson -MDC –PD
Bill Bannett -Cambridge PD
Tommy Gleasman -Cambridge PD
Cornelius (Neely) Sullivan -Cambridge PD
Arnold (Arnie) Doyle -Cambridge PD
Timothy (Timmy) Lane -Cambridge PD

Natural Causes:
They all aren’t “Village” but all are old time Cambridge.

Daniel (Deboy) Flynn
Robert (Popeye) Ferguson
Donald (Donnie) Ferguson
Dorothy (Dot Dahl) Malone
Mary Calvert (Mother)
Tom Calvert Jr.
Ricky Calvert
Bette Ann Calvert
Tommy Calvert Sr (Father)
William (Billy) Dahl
Cyril (Happy) Malone
John (Jackie) Malone
Alice Malone
James (Sonny-Red) Malone
Jimmy Ferguson
Richard (Dickie) Ferguson (My Best Man)
Alfie Bogus
Bobby Bogus
Joe Malone
Bud Malone
George Malone
Tony Fedas
Mrs McMillan
Mrs "Mother" White
Francine (Sister) Ciccarelli
Bessie Duffet
Walter Preston
Henry Sullivan (Magazine St Corner)
Mrs Malone (The Mother)
Ted Malone (The Father) Firefighter
Jimmy Halloran
Al Kaulbach
Mr/Mrs Kaulbach
Mrs Danforth (Mother)
Larry Bagnolia (Owned Pool Room, Brookline St)
Charlie Burke
Gert (Gertie Malone) Burke
Frances (Frannie) Ciccarelli
Joe Tierney
George Madore
George (Jonesy) Jones
Wally Jones
Joe Banks
George (Jolla) Crocker
Howard (Popeye) Jones
Joe Mastrangelo
Angelo Mastrangelo
Tony Mastrangelo
Johnny Spinetto
Frank (Mustard) Mustrullo
Abie Spinetto
Pat Spinetto
Tommy (Tee) Burns
Walter (Apples) Burns
Nellie (Bogus) Campbell
Dougie Duffet
Walter Duffet
Walter Scott
Henry (Rico) Ciccarelli
Johnny Ciccarelli
Johnny Williams
Paul (Doc) Harris
Charles (Booty) Ray
David Brennan
Warren (Little Whitey) White
Wilfred (Big Whitey) White
Donald (Ace) Garland
Vinnie Howard
Moody McCormick
Sammy Cameratta
Mike Watson
Bobby Donahue
Thomas (Smitty) Smith
Sonny Druin
Vinnie Campbell
Fred (Pat) Tierney
Jackie (Deacon) Donahue
Eddie Preston
Bubba Brinkerhoff
Brother Burton
George Williams
Donald (Ducky) Danforth
Ruthie Danforth (Ducks Wife)
James (Jimmy) Halloran
Johnny Malone
Archie McMillan
Eddie Watson
Tommy Murphy
Jim Glennon
Steve Glennon
Helen Leonard (Babe’s Wife)
Barry Watson
Danny O’Brien
Pete Watson
Bob (Snelly) Snelgrove
Alice Malone
Raymond (Sully) Sullivan
Carlota (Carl) Garland
Joe (Chickie) Patrella
Andrew (Andy) Fedas
Larry Donahue (Firefighter)
George Dupree
Bobby Conley
Roger (Whisper) Sellers
Leo Diehl (Tip O’Neil’s Secretary)
Marie (Robinson) Conley
Frank (Frannie) Conley
Lois (Peabody) Malone
James “Jimmy” Fedas
Paul Babalas (Mortician)
Frank Brennan (Dicks Father)
Herbert (Herb) Dahl
Hazel Dahl
Sid Parker
Joseph (Joe, Dirk) Direski
Arnold (Okie) O’Connor
Charlie Watson (City Councilor)
John (Pepper) Gittens
Joe Danforth
Bing Q. Yee (Village Laundry)
Ding Yee (Village Laundry)
John (Jackie) Batten
PATricia (Connerty) Hilliard
Virginia (Wilcox) Willis
Joan (Brennan) King
Michael Calvert
Alice Flynn (Gussies) Wife
Jake Gavin
Jim Tierney
Patrick (Patsy) Ferguson
Walter (Wally) Woods, (Lame guy with big shoe)
Joe (Big Boy) Dailey
Francis (Frannie) Shields
Al Antonawitz
Herbie Bennett
Frannie Hiscock
Billy Hiscock
Florence (Flossie) (Hiscock) McFerren
John McHugh
Jim McHugh
Joseph (Joey) Gaurino
George (Sonny) Gittens
Becky Cochran
Warren Cochran
Warren Williams
Louis “Buster” Pendleton
Grace Pendleton
Rita (McMillan) White
John F (Jack) Kelley
Johnny Bogus
Joseph (Dad) Leonard Sr
Joseph (Babe) Leonard Jr
Gary Latter
Lottie (Malone) Parker
Toodie Legee
Fred Legee
Mr/Mrs Druin
Hymie (Hymies Variety Store) Great Guy
George Zaglakis (Village Spa) Great Guy
Ma, The Mother Zaglakis (Village Spa)
Steve (Stevie) Zaglakas
Marie Zaglakas
James (Jimmy) Zaglakas
Paul (Beansy) Campbell
Joseph (Joe) Lavalle
Les Sweetser
Barbara Leonard (Chums Wife)
Frankie Ciccarelli
Frances (Bubbles Malone) Ciccarelli
James (Sonny-Red) Malone
Donald (Donnie) Sweetser
Joseph (Joe) Frongello
Charles (Charlie) Gittens (America's First Black Secret Service Agent)
June (McFerren) Brown (my sister in law)
Philip McFerren (my brother in law)
Dorthy (Ciccarelli Jennings) Campbell
Olga (Swinamer) Preston
Bobby Swinamer
Robert (Bob) Danforth
Arthur Dudley (Erie St)
Richard (Dick) Brennan
William (Billy) Wicks
Jackie (McMillan) Smith
Florence Malone
Helen Flynn (Deboys Wife)
Robert (Bob) Malone (Watertown Firefighter)
Barbara (McFerren) Burtt---(MY WIFE)
Marilyn (Kelley) Loadwick
Bernard (Gussie) Flynn
Joe Banks
Franny Banks
Johnny Banks
Clancy Banks
Dorothy Jennings/Campbell
Jackie Campbell
Yolanda Ciccarelli
Michael Ciccarelli
Albert (Albie) Bennett
William (Billy) Silva
Adeline Silva 
Norma (Wilcox) White (Warren "Whitey" White's Wife)
Edward (Sonny) Lavalle --- Abbie Lavalle
William J LeFave  
Robert (Bob) Dahl 
Maxine Defrancisco (my sister inlaw)