Red Burtts Storys

The End Of The Street:
Are we being visited, are they watching us, are they taking us, are they even among us driving cars, going to Hockey Games, shopping in Wal Mart, or maybe, walking their dogs?

Have you ever gone out into an open field around 11:00 PM on a clear cool evening then lie down on your back and “look up”.

Why do we think Heaven is up, when a close friend or relative “crosses over” why do we go out and look up when we speak to their memory, what do we think is up there, when we look up we don’t think about what is up there, we just automatically “look up” looking up means we do think, something is up there, but what, is God really up there, if there really is a God he must be up there if not, where the hell is he, maybe Heaven isn’t up, maybe Heaven is “over there”, now think about this, maybe God is “over there?

Please, at your earliest convenience, maybe this summer, if there is a field nearby I would suggest that some starlit evening you go out, if your wife or husband should ask “where are you going” you reply, “I am going out, to look up”, when you do look up, look closely, soon you will see little white lights moving then changing direction, what are they, stars don’t fly around changing direction, satellites don’t change direction, satellites travel from horizon to horizon on a straight course, what can these little lights be that change direction, why aren’t others concerned with this, they are clearly visible to all those who will take the time to look for them, why is it that the Pope never mentions this, have you ever heard your local weather person say “well folks there are a lot of those little lights moving around up there tonight”, is it only me that sees these things, my wife has never seen them, she refuses to “look up”.

I have been married for 59 years at this writing, we move a lot, we have lived in nine different locations, at the present time our home is located on the coast of Maine, we are directly across the street from the Ocean, on a windy day the salt spray covers the picture window of our living room, there is much open sky here, the end of this street is a perfect place to “look up”.

This place we now live in, this house by the sea is located on a “dead end street” we are the second to last house at the end of this street, where the street ends there is a large “half rotary” where cars going to the end can easily make the turn to reverse their direction and drive back out.

By now you must be wondering why I am writing about a “dead end street” and why I speak so often about, “up there”, (my wife claims my brain stopped functioning properly over forty years ago), well I have now decided to speak up, it is time, there is a reason, I now feel compelled to speak of “up there”.
I am very concerned about this situation and I DO have a reason, a good one, I am becoming scared, I am losing sleep, I get up out of bed at 3:00 AM, I go to my picture window and I “look up”, I look down to the dead end of my street then I again “look up”.
I have had a terrible horrifying experience while living on this dead end street and “up there” has much to do with it, the only reason I can speak of it now is the fact that I have to tell the world what is going on, I may pay dearly for speaking up, I may even be killed so pay attention, be aware of your dog, watch your dog, there is a reason they call them “mans best friend”, yes a very good reason, I will now try to explain.

The Beginning Of My Concerns:
Several days after we moved into this area I noticed some strange behavior involving the people that walk and drive down this street. All day long cars go by my house to the end of the street, I can understand this, there are trails to walk and benches to sit on as you watch the tide ebb and flow, many cars will drive to the end of this street then turn around and drive right back out, this seems like a normal thing to do, they are probably, “out for a ride” but, would you go for a ride down a dead end street when it is raining or during a fiercely blowing “Nor East Snow Storm”.
In many of the cars that pass my home on the way to the end of the street there is only one person in the vehicle, if you were out all alone in your car would you drive down a dead end street and then drive right back out without even stopping, they aren’t lost, I see the same cars doing this day after day, why?
I am not revealing the name of this street or the town that it is in at this time, I fear that some may read this and attempt to visit this area and drive down to the end of this street, I now know that doing this could be a very dangerous and unsettling experience and I have no idea what the end result would be, you will understand a little further on as you read.

Any Evening, 11:30 PM:
WHY THE HELL DO THEY GO DOWN THERE AT 11:30 PM, they aren’t down there long enough to have sex with anything, they aren’t buying drugs, when they do go down there is no one else down there, could they be members of some sort of cult, I have asked my neighbor, when I do he just stares off into space, he has lived here for thirteen years I know he knows something but when I bring the subject up he starts talking about his Snow Blower, I don’t care about his damn Snow Blower something is going on at the end of this street and I want to know what the hell it is.

When the cars or the motorcycles reach the rotary at the end of the street there is a stand of trees that block them from my view, some of the cars just make the turn and drive right back out, but some of them don’t. I watch and I wait for the ones that don’t come right back, I “look up” then I wait, nothing happens, I say to myself, “where the hell did that car go”, myself replies, “I don’t know”, I call my wife, I say “a car just went down to the end of the street and hasn’t come back” my wife says “who cares” I say “where the hell could they have gone, this is a dead end street” my wife says, “you don’t drink enough water”, if there is a Heaven if there is an afterlife, when it is time for my wife to cross over and she suddenly finds herself in the “hereafter” she still won’t believe it, Jesus himself could walk right through our living room wall and watch TV with us and she still wouldn’t “believe”.

My wife absolutely refuses to watch Science Fiction Movies, she refuses to speak of “Life After Death”, she seems afraid of the possibility that there may be a “another place” a place we go when our time is up here on earth and I think I know why, I think she has already been there and she doesn’t know it, but her subconscious mind knows it and she is determined not to admit it, I am beginning to think that my wife “Is Not Of This World”.

I now try to get as much sleep as I can during the day, I cat nap on the couch while watching Fox News, (I like Fox News, the girls all show their legs) then at night after my wife is asleep and the house is quiet, I watch, yes, that’s right I WATCH.

I have determined that the hours between 1:00AM and 6:AM seem to be the best time to observe, I don’t observe when my wife is around, I don’t trust her, whenever I try to do something intelligent or secretive she makes funny muttering sounds, also my IQ is much higher than hers, if she watched with me I would have to keep explaining things to her, then she would laugh at me, so when I observe I make sure I am all alone, but I don’t think I really am alone, I feel something, it’s ruining my sleep and my ability to think rationally. There have been mornings after a fitful nights sleep that I have found long curved “scratch marks” on my thighs, I don’t think I made them, they weren’t there when I went to bed.

2:00AM the cars are still going by, at times I can see their brake lights come on through the trees they have stopped their car, then their headlights go out, just seconds later their lights come back on and they leave.
Dear God, “what do they do down there” why would a car be driving down a dead end street, park for thirty seconds then turn around and drive right back out, AT 2:00 AM?
I have looked closely at these cars from the safety of my darkened living room as they slowly pass my house, most all only have one person in the vehicle, one person driving down a dead end street during a wild windy rainstorm, stopping for thirty seconds then driving away at two thirty in the morning, not just one car but as many as five each hour.
Several day’s ago another strange aspect of this story came to my attention, something that I had been overlooking, many of the cars that pass by here during the middle of the night and during the day as I said “have only one person in the vehicle” but now as I look closer I have noticed there is something else in the car, “a dog” most all of these cars have a dog sitting in the passenger seat some have two dogs, one in the front seat and another in the back seat, why would anyone want to wake their dog up at two o’clock in the morning and say, “wanna go for a ride”?
I am becoming obsessed with this situation, I stopped shaving, I have had the same clothes on for over two weeks, I have started talking to myself, I sit on the edge of my bed in the middle of the night and look for my pillow, I can’t find my cane, my whole life is changing, nothing else matters.

During the night after I am confident that my wife is asleep I make absolutely sure that the whole house is in complete darkness, then even in the dark I think I am being watched, lights or no lights, I feel panic, I start crying, but I can’t stop, I have to find out what is going on out there, out there on the dead end street, I have been tempted to try and walk down there after dark some evening but I am afraid, I can’t run, I use a cane, if something came after me I would have to surrender.

Trying To Observe:
My wife is finally sleeping, I am alone there is no light, I am scared but not knowing drives me on, I try to move as quietly as possible, I also try to move along the edge of the room with my back to the wall, I do this until I have properly positioned myself so I can see up and down the street through the picture window, I don’t believe I can be seen from the street but I am not sure. I hate to involve her in this but I recently asked my wife one night after dark if she would go out into the middle of the street then look at our picture window, she said “why, you idiot, what the hell are you doing now” I told her “I wanted to know if she could see me” she said, “there’s something wrong with your head” then she just walked away.
I get no support nor do I get any help whatsoever from that women, she says I damaged my brain when I stayed to long in a Hot Tub several years ago, my Doctor says I didn’t, I had an MRI, it found no brain damage, my wife says the Doctor is a fool and that the MRI must have been broken.

After I have quietly moved my body across the room with my back to the wall and as soon as I reach the window I can feel a change coming over myself, I get the chills and my foot starts to move by itself, usually the right one.
I had myself positioned one night to observe, I was standing upright with my back to the wall, my right foot was moving in circles, I was breathing heavily, I was waiting, the room was in total darkness, then, my wife got up without me hearing her, she’s like a ghost, she can appear and disappear at will, she does it in the Supermarket, she snapped the light on, I screamed, when she saw me flattened out against the wall she said, “what the hell are you doing you moron” my foot stopped moving, I replied, “I’m waiting”, it was 3:15AM, she called me a “sick bastard” and went back to bed, I was petrified, when she spoke she broke the silence and then out of the corner of my eye on the outside of the picture window I saw a very large shape and what appeared to be an animal leg, no animal, just a leg, it vanished as suddenly as it had appeared, Jesus H Christ, what is happening to me?
Well this was it, I knew it, “Something Is Out There” I saw a Leg, I know what I saw, it was an animals Leg, it had a hoof on it and hair was hanging down from it, I saw it, by God something is finally happening, but is it, is my wife right, am I insane?

Somehow I knew that nothing more was going to happen that night, just after my wife barged into the room calling me dirty names it seemed as though a spell had been broken, she just can’t mind her own damn business.
I looked out into the darkness, I could hear the surf rolling in but there were no cars going down to the end of the street, when I “looked up” the sky was clear, my foot stopped moving, for a brief moment I thought of putting a sign in my picture window saying “MY WIFE HATES YOUR STINKING GUTS”, (maybe whatever is out there will take her), I will make the sign tomorrow and put it behind the couch, I will only use it when I am sure the Police won’t be riding by, the Police might read it and take it personally, I have printed several other signs that I plan on using at different times in my window.
This isn’t over by a long shot though, I’m not giving up, I will be back, I will keep looking up and I will keep watching.

Several days went by following this incident with my wife, nothing unusual had happened, I started to relax, cars still went by but they seemed normal, they parked, they took their chairs out and sat by the ocean, they went for walks on the trails, they jogged, they looked for shells and some held hands as they strolled the beach, some of the men were holding hands.
Was my wife right, am I deranged, but why do I wake up sweating and thinking about that Leg, why do I think I see faces on my bedroom wall at 4:00AM, when I wake up in the morning why is my pillow in the closet, it was under my head when I went to sleep.

For several weeks things went along normally, my pillow stayed on the bed, my wife isn’t making strange noise’s, I haven’t seen a face on my bedroom wall in over three weeks, I haven’t put any of the signs I made in the window yet but every other night or so I will quietly go out into the living room and stand up against the wall and “watch”, the cars still go “down there” but there is no activity, could I have been wrong, was my wife right, could it be I don’t drink enough water, do I have a damaged brain, ha, yeah right, oh Jesus God, little did I know what was coming.

Now, The Dogs:
This street is a favorite among the “dog people” on nice days there is a steady parade of “dog walkers”, the dogs come in all sizes and shapes, some of the dogs wear sweaters, some have little vests on but there is something different about all these dogs, it took me several weeks to notice that these dogs did not act like normal dogs, they seemed to be overly obedient, they never bark as they pass each other, they never pull on their leashes, they never pause to sniff a bush, they just walk in a straight line, they seem anxious to get to the end of the street, some are not on leashes, they walk several feet ahead of their Human, they and their Human seem to have one goal they both stare straight ahead, down to the end of the street.

I tried to point this unusual behavior out to my wife one day, I said, “dear, there is something strange about the dogs that pass our house” she grunted and then said “what the hell are you talking about” I replied “I don’t know” she then said “you’re a fool”, I just ignored her, I had no time to bicker with her, something was going on out there.
One day as I was printing a sign and watching, one of the dogs stopped, the dogs human also stopped, something was wrong, they never stop, I suddenly had the chills, I was excited, I felt weak, the dog slowly turned and looked at my house, the human stared straight ahead, that’s when it hit me, THE DOGS, that’s it, oh Jesus its the dogs, I have been watching the people when all along I should have been looking at the dogs.

The dog that stopped and looked at my window slowly lifted his leg and urinated on his human’s pants, the human just ignored it, the human stared straight ahead toward the end of the street.
The dog that had just relieved himself on his humans leg slowly turned and looked at another dog who was being led on a leash several feet behind him, for a moment I thought there was some type of communication between them, there was no barking, just, “a look” then the first dog and his human continued to walk on toward the end of the street, when the second dog reached the spot directly across the street from my window he stopped for a moment then he slowly turned his head and stared, right at me, then it happened, THE DOG SMILED.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew something horrible was happening at the end of this street, now what the hell do I do, how can I tell anyone that a Dog “smiled at me”, from what I have told you about my wife can you just imagine me telling her that one of these dogs looked over at our house and smiled at me.
Now what, things are getting worse, a dog smiled at me, that can mean only one thing something I didn’t count on, something that might put me in grave danger, “the bastards know I’m watching them”.

Terror:
Jesus what have I done, why did I move onto this street, please God help me, this dog, the one that smiled at me must have told the other dogs what had happened, a women that passes regularly with two Cocker Spaniels came walking by just at dusk, the women stared straight ahead toward the end of the street but both dogs turned their heads and looked directly at my window, I was standing off to the side where I thought I couldn’t be seen but it made no difference, then it happened, they both looked at my house and smiled, they then turned and smiled at each other.

The Change:
Now, a new strange feeling was coming over me, I no longer saw faces on my bedroom wall, my foot stopped moving by itself and my wife actually started being civil to me, my wife even started smiling at me, but I was still scared, something was going to happen, I could feel it.

Several weeks went by without any kind of activity happening outside, I printed some more signs, I watched the dogs closely, they have started to behave like normal dogs, they walk with their noses to the ground, they stop and smell bushes, they wag their tails, what was happening now, have I been dreaming, did I imagine all this, little by little I am starting to feel better, I changed my underwear, I shaved, I resumed whistling, my pillow stays on the bed but best of all my wife has started to treat me like a human being, just this afternoon she said “hi” to me.

Is it over, I don’t know, I printed up some more signs. I now know what my next move will be, I AM GOING DOWN THERE, that’s right, the end of the street, I am going down, the hell with this peeking out the window, the hell with those damn grinning dogs, do they think they are going to scare me by smiling at me, if one of them smiles at me again he is getting “the finger”, I have a sign that I printed up and I will hold it in the window where all dogs can see it, it says, “Up Yours You Flea Bag Dog Bastard”, before she started being nice to me my wife happened to see the sign and she called me a dirty name then she made a funny noise, it almost sounded like a “growl”, she said I should go to a Doctor and get some pills, she still hasn’t seen all the signs, she doesn’t realize there are several more behind the couch.

This is it, 10:30 PM, I am going out to look, to look down at the End Of The Street where they all go, tonight’s the night, boy I’m excited.
I have tried to leave the house as quietly as possible and I am staying in the shadows, when I reached the end of my driveway I looked in both directions, up the street and down the street, so far so good, no humans, no dogs anywhere to be seen.

Well, here I am, I have limped down here and I have positioned myself behind some bushes, I can clearly see through the bushes but I don’t think the dogs or their idiot humans can see me.
I look up the street, a car is coming, it has just pulled in and has stopped at the rest room parking lot, there is a human and two dogs in the car, both the human and the two dogs are looking up, I look up, I can’t see anything.
The human opens the front passenger door and the dog sitting in the front seat gets out and runs up to the Mens Room and urinates on the rest room door, he then runs back to the car, the door opens and he jumps in.
I notice something, I can hear a fog horn off in the distance, why were they sounding a fog horn, there’s no fog, it is a beautiful clear evening, then it happened, Holy Jesus Jumping H Christ, a sliver of light came right out of the sky, it went up the cars tail pipe and then I could see the light jumping all over the inside of the car, first in the back seat then in the front, the human being was bouncing up and down in his seat, then his head was being pounded into the roof, the dogs were laughing, barking and howling, the car started to shake, the tires went flat then they filled up with air again all by themselves, small balls of fire came flying out of the tail pipe, the human was screaming the dogs were barking, small birds with little “dog heads” were flying all around the car, little flashes of light would suddenly shoot out of their asses and they were barking, then, just as quickly as it all started it suddenly stopped, dead silence, I wet my pants, I dropped my cane, I’m hanging onto a bush, if I let go I’ll fall down, what if these crazy bastards hear me, what if the dogs can smell me, oh Jesus.

Several minutes went by, the little “dog birds” vanished then the light came flying out of the tail pipe and shot straight up in the air, the human wasn’t moving, the dogs stopped barking, dead silence, not a sound then the car’s engine started the head lights came on and it slowly pulled out of the parking lot.
The driver and the German Shepard that was sitting in the front seat with him were staring straight ahead then as it passed the clump of bushes that I was hiding in the dog in the back seat slowly turned his head and looked directly at my bush, then he smiled, dear God please help me.
I found my cane and was just about to start limping back to my house I was crying again, then as I parted my bush I saw a human coming down the street in the darkness; he was on foot and he was leading a large Saint Bernard with a little Barrel around his neck on a leash, there was a street light directly across from my bush, I hugged my bush hoping they wouldn’t be able to see me or smell me as they passed under the light, then I waited.
I had just been through a frightening experience watching what had happened in the “car from hell” with the human bouncing up and down having his head smashed up into the roof, tires going flat then fixing themselves, birds with dogs heads barking and then having that damn dog smile at my bush but now something far worse was going to happen, something that would screw up my brain forever.

The human and the dog were almost under the light, I stopped breathing and waited, now, they are under the light, oh my God I can’t believe what I’m seeing, this dog has five legs, he has a leg growing down from his stomach, as he walks he uses it in the same manner as I use a cane, it touches the ground and propels him along, then, I listen, the damn dog is singing, the dog is singing “Danny Boy” now the human is coming under the light, he’s wearing eyeglasses, he has a white tee shirt on, I almost fall down at what I see next, the man has three arms, he has a third arm growing right out of the middle of his back, he also has “one eye glass” in the back of his head “this damn freak” has an eye in the back of his head.
The third arm the one coming out of the mans back has a “wrist watch” on it, the eye the man has in the back of his head must be for “telling the time”, he probably can’t see the watch on his “back arm” from the eyes he has in the front of his head, “Oh Jesus Christ” “help me God”, then without even looking in my direction the arm that is growing out of the mans back swings around and waves at the bush I am hiding behind, the man didn’t even look in my direction, it was the arm, that damn arm knew I was in the bushes, the dog started laughing, out loud, I tried to run home, I fell down.

I finally made it home, my pants were soaking wet, I bruised my knees when I fell, I was still crying, I had to pass under the bedroom window on the way to the front stairs, I stopped under the window and listened, my wife was “singing”.

Two weeks have passed since this terrible night, I have lost 17 pounds, I am always tired, I sat on a bench in a Supermarket and went sound asleep, when my wife saw me on the bench instead of shaking me to wake me up she went to the service desk and told them I was dead, paramedics woke me up, I wet my pants again.
Now something else is happening to me, I didn’t realize it until one day my wife started laughing at me, I have begun to stutter and stammer when I get excited.
Just after dusk one evening a human and another dog with five legs was passing my window the human glanced at over at me and then he smiled, I could clearly see a large shape under the back of his jacket, he looked “hunch backed” it must be his “other arm”, I yelled at my wife, “look, look at tha tha tha this ba ba ba bastard” she laughed, she now makes fun of my “stutter”.
These horrible bastards from hell, these side show monsters they know me, they know I am watching them, oh God what Have I done, what will happen if they see my signs, will they someday kill me?

We will be moving again in three months, I am looking forward to leaving this place while I am still sane, I have started packing my signs, my wife said she is going to take them over to the Maine Medical Center and show them to a Psychiatrist, she said, “only a deranged person could put those signs in a window for others to see”, I disagreed strongly, it is my way of “fighting back”.

Three Weeks Later:
I am unusually tired tonight, I can’t seem to stay awake, it has been almost a month now since anything out of the ordinary has happened, I am little by little starting to feel secure and normal even though my wife still acts very strange at times, she sings and smiles a lot but she has stopped calling me dirty names, but when we drive to the store I noticed that she always opens her window, even on chilly days.

4:00 AM.
My Grandmother used to say, “It is always darkest just before dawn” I suddenly awaken, the bedroom is pitch black, I lay still for a moment, I close my eyes I am starting to doze off again then I move my foot slightly, I can feel an object at the foot of my bed, it is dead silent in the room, I move my foot again something is there, then, I think I feel the object move, JESUS CHRIST Arghhhhhhh, I scream “HELP ME”, I grab my light off the lamp table, I flick it on, SWEET MOTHER MARY OF CHRIST ALMIGHTY GOD JESUS IN HEAVEN, the bedroom is full of dogs, some are on the bed with me, there must be a hundred of them, they are just staring at me with their tongues hanging out, they aren’t making a sound but they are all looking directly into my eyes, I can’t move, they have done something to me, I try to scream again, I try to say “help me God” but nothing comes out, I can’t move my body, I’m paralyzed, I wet the bed.
One of the smaller dogs jumps up on the bed and comes up close to my face, I can’t scream, I can’t move, the dog leans over my head, he’s smiling then he laps my face, his breath smells like Celery, then I feel a sharp pain on my foot, then nothing.

It’s raining out, the wind is blowing, I smell bacon cooking I look at my clock it is 7:30AM, I forget that I can’t walk like I used to, I jump out of bed and fall down, there is hair all over the floor, I can hear my wife singing why is she up, she never gets up until 8 or 9, my left foot is shaking I look at it, there are two marks on my foot that look like “bite marks”, the dogs, oh God, the damn dogs, was that all a dream. I am not a Catholic, I have heard Catholics say the “Hail Mary”, I don’t know how to say it so I just sat on the edge of the bed saying “Dear God Hail Mary, Dear God Hail Mary” over and over again, my wife’s singing is getting louder, I’m getting dizzy, it’s getting dark again.

When I open my eyes I am lying down on a bed, there two tubes stuck up my nose, there is a large women with a patch over one of her eyes, she has a very large “overbite” her upper front teeth hang down over her bottom lip, she has monstrous breasts, one is larger and lower than the other, she is wearing a white nurse’s uniform, her name tag says “Sally”. I try to speak to her, I can’t, something is in my mouth, there’s a bed-pan under me, what the hell is going on, those son of a bitching dogs must have something to with this, there is a picture on the ceiling right over the bed that can be seen when you are lying down, it is a picture of two Irish Setters, copulating, a French Poodle is watching them and smiling, I look over at Sally, she is panting and her tongue is hanging out, then I see it, there’s a paw with brown hair on it sticking out of her shirt right between her balloon breasts, “HAIL MARY” “OH JESUS SON OF GOD” “HAIL MARY”.

I haven’t told the rest of the family about all this yet, I am back home from the hospital, Sally gave me some pills to take and she tried to kiss me before I left but luckily I fell down and when the orderly picked me up I was able to avoid her, nobody seemed to notice the dogs foot that was sticking up out of her blouse in her cleavage so I didn’t mention it I just wanted to go home.
Strangely enough I am feeling better than I have in a long, long time, I no longer bother looking out of my window at 3:00AM, I am sleeping soundly all night, my pillow stays on the bed and I had forgotten about all the signs I printed to hold up in my window until the other day when I saw one sticking out from under the living room couch, I reached down and pulled it out and looked at it, it read, “You dirty Dog Bastards” I turned it over and the other side said “All dogs suck” I reached further under and pulled two more out, “Dog Scum Vermin”, “I Love Fleas You Smelly Swine Dogs” there were more but I didn’t bother with them, I’ll get rid of them later, funny, I didn’t feel like printing any more in fact now when I see a dog, I smile.

A social worker from the hospital now visits me once a week, usually on a Tuesday, she tells me that Sally always asks for me, I am tempted to ask about the “paw” between Sally’s breasts but I think better of it, I trust no one.
My wife smiles all the time now, she sings, and she hasn’t called me a Moron in weeks but I discovered something new that she does and I am afraid to even think about it but when I do it doesn’t seem to bother me as much as it might have several weeks ago in fact I don’t seem to think there is anything all that wrong with it but why do I feel like this, I should be shocked but I’m not, you see, my wife now eats canned dog food.

I feel great, I smile a lot and earlier this evening I was looking out of my picture window at the Ocean, the man with three arms and the dog with five legs walked by, they stopped and looked over at me, they both smiled, the man then turned and the arm that was growing out of his back waved at me, I smiled, then I waved back.

We have just finished watching the evening news, there was a story on tonight about a couple walking along the beach down in Old Orchard, they claim to have seen strange flashes of light and funny little birds flying around in the dark, they also said a dog was chasing them, my wife looked at me and smiled, I also smiled.

When the news ended my wife went out into the kitchen and returned with her brand new “Dog Collar” and “Leash”, she was carrying them in her mouth, she brought them up to me and then started whining, she wanted to go out.
I put her collar and leash on and we went out into the darkness, she sniffed around for a while and then she went to the bathroom, as we headed back to the house she started dragging me towards the car and whining, she wanted to go for a ride, I opened the door and she jumped in, her tongue was hanging out and she was grinning.
We had been driving for about five minutes when she suddenly started to whine again, I reached down and pushed the window button, she stuck her head out the window as far as she could and then she started barking, I smiled.

When we arrived home my wife went into the house first and just as I was about to go up the stairs I noticed the tree, it has always been there but tonight it seemed different, I walked over to it then I bent down and started to smell the bark, then I slowly lifted my leg high in the air and urinated on the tree.

Author: Red Burtt